For several years now, I Kings 19 has called to me, over and over again.. “Kavina, what are you doing here?” And more times than I appreciate, the mind shouts “I do not know, but I want to.” And so I chased the wind, time and time again.
And yet, the call is whispering again, “Kavina, what are you doing here?”
This is one of my all time favorite posts you've written. It makes my heart yearn to get back to my 4-ness. Thank you so much for sharing this. It inspires me to live in a new way - Nicholas
I have often imagined we are characters in God’s epic novel. The book is written but we can’t read the chapters ahead, only past chapters and the page we are on. He knows the ending. And yet, like the unruly characters who twist your plotline, I imagine we have also surprised God along the way. I do not write fiction but I envy my friends who do. I’m fascinated when they tell me their characters usurp the story and also how very fond they are of them. There is solace in the idea that the story is older and wiser than we are and thus we can trust it. Sometimes I catch glimpses of the script.
In some ways, I feel like the story is (partly) writing me, and my voice adds to the narrative the same way my characters did to the story of the novels. However the alchemy works, I am finding such a comfort in the idea that I am not alone in writing the story of my life.
Beautiful. Thank you. You've reminded me of Ephesians 2:10, where we are told that we are authored by God, each of us an epic poem (Poiēma). I am constantly learning to be authored, even as I contribute my own words to the Story being written in and through me.
Your post also brought to mind these wonderful lines from Rilke:
I yearn to be held
in the great hands of your heart—
oh let them take me now. Into them I place these fragments, my life,
Thank you for this writing.
For several years now, I Kings 19 has called to me, over and over again.. “Kavina, what are you doing here?” And more times than I appreciate, the mind shouts “I do not know, but I want to.” And so I chased the wind, time and time again.
And yet, the call is whispering again, “Kavina, what are you doing here?”
You are right that the fear does not go quietly. I pray I can be content with at least listening and crawling. Honestly it’s just so hard.
It is indeed. I’m trying to figure out how to put words to the struggle in the way that encourages me and I hope others.
This is one of my all time favorite posts you've written. It makes my heart yearn to get back to my 4-ness. Thank you so much for sharing this. It inspires me to live in a new way - Nicholas
Thanks Nicholas! Fours FTW brother!
I have often imagined we are characters in God’s epic novel. The book is written but we can’t read the chapters ahead, only past chapters and the page we are on. He knows the ending. And yet, like the unruly characters who twist your plotline, I imagine we have also surprised God along the way. I do not write fiction but I envy my friends who do. I’m fascinated when they tell me their characters usurp the story and also how very fond they are of them. There is solace in the idea that the story is older and wiser than we are and thus we can trust it. Sometimes I catch glimpses of the script.
In some ways, I feel like the story is (partly) writing me, and my voice adds to the narrative the same way my characters did to the story of the novels. However the alchemy works, I am finding such a comfort in the idea that I am not alone in writing the story of my life.
Beautiful. Thank you. You've reminded me of Ephesians 2:10, where we are told that we are authored by God, each of us an epic poem (Poiēma). I am constantly learning to be authored, even as I contribute my own words to the Story being written in and through me.
Your post also brought to mind these wonderful lines from Rilke:
I yearn to be held
in the great hands of your heart—
oh let them take me now. Into them I place these fragments, my life,
and you, God—spend them however you want.
"I am constantly learning to be authored, even as I contribute my own words to the Story being written in and through me."
Yes. Exactly this. Thank you, Tim.